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GokuFievel’s Top Ten Page
Part of GokuFievel’s Joke Page!
FINALLY
UPDATED APRIL 2006!!!
Check
out the NEW ONES Below! Some of them written by you!
They
will have *** above them
WARNING: Some of these Top Ten jokes may be offensive
as they are now TV14-ish be it sexual or political
From the Home Office in
GokuFievel: With HUGE
apologies to David Letterman and CBS. But these are MY OWN TOP TENS!!! And
technically it would be unfair to label EVERY TOP TEN subject in the world as
property of CBS. Just as so long as I’m not copying any of YOUR Top Ten’s
Letterman, there’s no need for a lawsuit!
10: At the opening Toonami
Sequence TOM not only show up ten minutes late, but he shows up drunk with a
bottle of scotch in his hands
9: Instead of pushing the button on his
chair to start the next show, TOM pushes the Self-Destruct button
8: Even though he lost weight and got a new
slim and muscular body from the 'Intruder' Incident, TOM gets fat again
7: He keeps referring to SARA as the "Bitch in the box"
6: Instead of doing the Fan Art, TOM
shows Hentai!
5: DragonBall Z is only on for
2 minutes and already it's a "To Be Continued..."
4: He gives all of the video games a 10 out
of 10 saying, “Ah, they pay us to show their crappy games anyway so just give em’ what they pay for”
3: Toonami comes on the air
and TOM is in no hurry to
put away the Game Boy
2: TOM was last seen asking Moltar if he'd like to host Toonami
again
And the #1 Sign
That TOM Doesn't Give A Damn About Toonami
Anymore.........
1: TOM throws twenty bucks at the camera and
says,
“You
want Anime? Go buy it off of Ebay!”
******
TOP TEN SIGNS YOU’RE AT
A BAD ANIME CONVENTION
(Written by some of the fans of Anime
Oasis)
10: You’re
the only one who’s there
9: You’re
the only one is a cosplay costume…everyone else is
dressed in black for the funeral
8: The only
thing the Dealer in the Dealers room is selling are
drugs
7: The
voice actor shows up drunk with a six pack in his hands crying saying “Nobody loves me!”
6: It’s
held in your mother’s basement
5: THE
ANIME IS DUBBED!!! (Boooo!!!)
4: When InuYasha stabs someone with his sword and Vash the Stampede shoots someone with his gun……that ain’t no cosplay
3: The
Anime Music Video contest is just some guy being animated singing karaoke to a
crappy Weird Al song
2:
And the #1 sign that you’re at a BAD
Anime convention………
1: You walk
into the con and the first person to greet you is a guy in a Spock costume who
walks up to you and says, “Live Long and Prosper”
******
TOP TEN SIGNS YOU’RE AT
A DAMN GOOD ANIME CONVNETION
10: You were
at ANIME OASIS!!!
9: If
you’re a girl during the B-Machine Dance you got to dance with: Naruto, Vash the Stampede, & InuYasha
8: If
you’re a guy you got to dance with ALL 5 SAILOR SCOUTS!!!
7: You had
a little accident watching Hentai night
6: You can
officially say that you got to hang out with: Trunks from DragonBall
Z, ED from FullMetal Alchemist, and Stan from Hamtaro!
5: There
was a second Unrestricted Adult Cosplay…in your hotel
room
4: You just
kicked someone’s ass at DDR
3: You
didn’t sleep for any of the 3 days and are now starting to hallucinate all of
your favorite Anime characters PARTYING WITH YOU ALL NIGHT LONG!!!
2: You
spend a year’s worth of allowance in the Dealers Room on: pins, posters,
costumes, & pocky…stuff you won’t be using or
seeing again for an entire year
And the #1 Sign you’ve had a damn good
Anime Convention……
1: Jeremy
fainted when he read how much money we made
******
TOP TEN SIGNS THAT GOKU IS GETTING TOO OLD TO SAVE THE
WORLD
(Written by you
the fans of Anime Oasis & DBZ)
10: Whenever
he screams out a battle cry he asks for his dentures back
9: When
Chi-Chi pushes him out on a wheelchair
8: Goku needs frequent naps in between battles
7: When
Shenron the Eternal Dragon comes out carrying a
walker
6: Even
when Goku turns Super Saiyan
his hair is still Gray and White
5: Goku
accepts Vegeta’s challenge to a game of BINGO
4: The only
thing he’ll fight for now is to get his Social Security check
3: When
Goku fires out a Kamehameha
attack fireball wave he grabs his hands in pain and says, “OUCH! THAT’S HOT!”
2: He has
no shame showing up to battle walking around in his new Adult Diapers
And the #1 Sign
that Goku is getting too old to save the world……
1: The
7 balls sag
******
TOP TEN THINGS NEVER SAID BEFORE IN AN ANIME
(If that’s even
possible) (Again written by the fans)
10: School
Girl talking “I’m a 16 year old girl you’re a 32 year
old guy…I really don’t think it’s going to work out”
9: Another
School Girl talking “This skirt is too short”
8: Yet
another School Girl talking “Why didn’t you tell me my panties were
showing?”
7: La
Blue Girl talking “Silly Tentacles Monster…tentacles don’t
go there”
6: Vegeta from DBZ talking “Hmm…maybe we can settle this peacefully”
5: Any
Anime character talking to a villain “Could you repeat that 20 minute long
plot revealing line again I didn’t quite catch it the first time”
4: Any mecha Anime character
“I don’t feel like piloting
a big Mecha robot and saving the world today I’d
rather do my homework”
3:
2: Two
DBZ characters talking “Is
it me or is this battle
just taking FOREVER!”
And the #1 thing
never said in an Anime before……
1: Goku
talking “No thanks…I’m NOT hungry right now”
******
TOP TEN THINGS I HAVE LEARNED FROM WATCHING URUSEI
YATSURA
(Drawing by GokuFievel)
10: If you’re probed by aliens in the X-Files that’s a
BAD thing, but if you’re probed by aliens in Urusei Yatsura that’s a VERY GOOD THING!
9: If a hot looking flying alien chick in a tiger bikini
wants to marry you and is constantly calling you darling…you say YES…NOT RUN
AWAY!
8: Men should be thankful that their wives only beat
them up with a stick not ZAP them to death if they’re caught cheating
7: Big fat baby boys named TEN can fly
6: You can stop a sharp sword coming at you with your
bare hands and not get cut defying the laws of physics
5: There was no such thing as sexual harassment laws in
a 1982
4: Bunny girl costumes RULE
3: Men have so many lovers…like 20 or 30 of them
according to Ataru-chan
2: That even hot looking babe Priestesses with really
big boobs can have a DEEP man-like voice
And the #1 thing I’ve
learned after watching Urusei Yatsura……
1: Even perverts can save the world by hitting on Alien
chicks!
Backup Story: Let’s just all
admit it! Ranma and Akane
are deeply in love with each other! THEY JUST REFUSE TO ADMIT IT because
they’re stubborn and because they’re both like Vegeta…THEY’RE
TOO PRIDEFUL!!! After ONE TOO MANY close calls and Ranma
getting engaged to 4 women, I and many Ranma ½ fans
think it high time that we rushed this Wrangeled
Romance.
10: Write fake
poetry then mail it in………Oh wait! That’s already been done before!
9: Make Shampoo bug
Ranma SO much, that he’ll be begging for Akane to be by his side!
8: Switch Ukyo’s
cooking with Akane’s; and switch Akane’s
cooking with Ukyo’s!!!
7: Make Ranma watch Late Night Cinemax………he’ll get so
horny he’ll be begging for Akane to marry him
6: Introduce Akane to Kuno and say, “Hey it could
be worse you could still be engaged to HIM!”
5: Make them work out
their differences on the Jerry Springer Show
4: Yell at, and
tell Ranma that he’s a “CHICKEN!!!”
3: Tell Ranma what happens in
2: One word………“Handcuffs”
And the #1 Way to make Ranma and Akane fall in love with each other……………………
1: Do
it the brutal way………Get em’ naked, SHOVE them in the
bathtub, run like hell, lock, seal, and then barricade the door!!!
10: “Well that’s
the end of their career”
9: “I could pull a
better movie out of my Ass”
8: “Oh *&^%! What have I
done!?”
7: “I now have
more respect for Jar-Jar-Biggs”
6: “This Ancient
Mew Card doesn’t do a Damn THING!!!”
5: “There goes
half my paycheck”
4: “Dude, where’s
my brain?”
3: “If Mel Brooks
didn’t direct it, then DON’T try to pull some of the ‘We’re very well
aware that this is a movie’ jokes”
2: “They could
have gone the extra mile with that Mardi Gras scene…if you know what I mean”
And the #1 Response after seeing the Pokemon Movie 2000…………………
1: “I only came
here to listen to Weird Al’s new song ‘Polkamon’”
Backup Story: For the
record………NO THERE IS NO AMERICAN TAIL 5 OUT YET!!! (I sure hope
there is!) If Larry Latham is willing to do it count on it!!!
10: “An American
Tail V: The Search for Oscars”
9: “An American
Tail V: The ‘V’ Stands for Victory”
8: “AT5: That’s not
the name of a Star Wars Fighter…so cool your heels you Star Wars nerds!”
7: “An American
Tail V: Selling Russian secrets to the Americans…so TAKE THAT you FBI Russian Spy!”
6: “An American
Tail V: Tiger Gets a Life”
5: “An American
Tail V: Fievel’s in Da
Hood! Hangen’ out with his hommies!”
4: “An American
Tail V: Fievel the first mouse Super Saiyan”
3: “An American
Tail V: The Cat Meow-sicre”
2: “An American
Tail V: Cats The Broadway Play”
And the #1 Possible Title for An American Tail V……………………
1: “An American
Tail V: ESCAPE FROM TERRORISM!!!”
(By now you
should have gotten the point about Ranma!)
10: “I feel your
pain…I REALLY DO! Because I KNOW what it’s like to be a girl!”
9: “Akane I’m not making this up…but you REALLY are cute and sexy
when your angry”…POW!!!
8: “Shampoo…is
your hair real?”
7: “Ukyo, take it
from someone who knows…you look WAY better as a girl! So stop
dressing up like a man! You look like an American when you do that!!!”
6: “Kodachi there’s something I’ve wanted to say to you for years………YOUR BUTT-UGLY!!! AND YOUR LAUGH SUCKS!!!”
5: “Ryoga, your life is SO SAD it just makes
me want to cry”
4: “Pop, what can
you tell me about girls?”
3: “Happosai! You’re the REAL reason why Social Security and Medicare
is having such a hard time these days!”
2: “Akane if we get married, how do you think my curse is going to
affect our kids’ lives?”
And the #1 Thing Ranma would say if he had to tell the truth……………………
1: “Let’s all
admit it…I GOT THE BEST CURSE!!!”
10: For Ranma ½: “I’ll let you in on a little secret…I’m
really a man”
9: Akane: “Punching your lights out is my way of
showing affection”
8: Shampoo: “Shampoo only
using you to get near Ranma”
7: Ukyo: “How did you
know I was a girl? Was the hair? It's the hair isn't it? DANG IT!!! It’s always
the hair!”
6: Kodachi: “Whoooooohahahaha!!!”
5: Ryoga: “Tell me if my nose starts bleeding”
4: Nabiki: “Your hour is up…you’ll have to pay me 1,000
Yen if you want to keep me for the rest of this date”
3: Moose: “Do these
glasses make me look like a nerd?”
2: Kasumi: “Dr. Tofu I’m
not asking for much…just for 5 WHOLE seconds just STAY STILL!!!”
And the #1 Ranma Date Pickup Line…………………………………
1: Ranma: “Want to see me turn into a girl?”
10: Model for what
they think is a NewsMagazine…when really it’s an Adult Magazine!
9: Sailor Mercury
is the third back up crew in the Hospital……under cleaning
8: Sailor Mars
gives
7: Sailor V tries
to beat up Lara Croft
6: Tuxedo Mask…IS the Masked
Magician
5: Sailor Jupiter
got kicked out of the Olympics for testing positive for an illegal Sailor
Substance
4: NASA repeatedly tries
to put probes on Sailor Mars
(Who wouldn’t
want to put Probes on her?)
3: Sailor Moon’s in
on the Conspiracy that man never went to the Moon (just the girls have been
there)
2: Sailor Uranus
and Sailor Neptune go to
And the #1 Day job of the Sailor Scouts……………………………………
1: They’re the
backup cheerleaders for their high school!
10: The name of that
cute little redhead orphan girl that sings “Tomorrow, Tomorrow!”
9: Rejected Disney
cartoons
8: "That gizmo,
that does that one thing, in that one country we don't like very much or
something"
7: The title of an
"R" rated Chinese movie
6: That DragonBall Z is a new miracle drug made from the testicles
of Comodo Dragons in
5: “Anime? Ani-May?
Aunt May? The name of Spiderman’s Aunt?”
4: “I dunno, but they’ve got really big eyes, is there something
wrong with them?”
3: "Mmm…I'm hungry… I like: trucks, women, sex, and pizza. Aren't
monkeys funny? Especially when they dress up and have cigars in their mouths?
…Duh?…What was your question again?"
2: Dumb Guy #2 Too
Drunk To Answer
And the #1 Thing
Of What Dumb American Guys Think Anime Is……
1: Cartoon Porn for
kids!
10: Gohan at the
9: The Nameks: "There goes the neighborhood"
8: Vegeta To The Nameks: "You mean all I
had to do was ASK NICELY for the Dragonballs
and you would have given them to me!?!?!?"
7: Frieza To Ginyu: "For the love
of the UNIVERSE!!! PUT SOME PANTS ON GINYU THAT'S DISGUSTING!!!"
6: Krillin To The Ginyu
Force: "Weren't you guys on Wrestle Mania?"
5: Goku To Frieza: "You killed my
best friend Krillin!!!……………COOL!!! Do it again! Do it
again!"
4: Goku To Frieza as the planet Namek is exploding: "We can't keep
meeting like this you know"
3:
The Androids: "We just keep: Going, and going, and going, and going…"
2: Cell: “
And the #1 Thing
Over Heard during the DragonBallZ Battles………
1: "If that
Narrator interrupts us ONE MORE TIME…I swear…I am going to kick his Ass!!!"
10: “Who’s the
Disco freak?”
9: “You know Cell
isn’t really all that bad a guy…he just killed everybody from the American
Media…however Cell preferred that stupid guy from ZTV INSTEAD!?”
8: “Oh, how nice
of the Sailor Scouts to come on over and cheer us on……WHAT!? You mean you girls
want to fight!?”
7: “Before we
start the Cell Games everybody has to take a Drug Test”
6: “The Invocation
(Opening
Prayer) will be offered by Piccolo, and the National Anthem will be
sung by Krillin…so for PETE’S SAKES PEOPLE!!! COVER
YOUR EARS!!!”
5: “Let’s just
fight like Mike Tyson does; and just EAT each other to DEATH!!!”
4: “We hope you
don’t mind but the Cell games have been bought by a major corporation you don’t
mind if we add some product placement do you?”
3: “The Cell Games
on NBC!……is brought to you by: McDonalds, AT&T, Aflac, Bank of America, Xerox, and the good and wonderful
people at VISA”
2: “I’m here
threatening to blow up the world on International TV……and you’re telling me
that we’ve been beaten by AMERICAN IDOL IN THE RATINGS!?!?!?”
And the #1 Thing
Over Heard During The Cell Games………………………
1: “You mean what’s
his name won the election?…Okay Cell! You can blow up
the world now…we don’t care anymore!”
10: “Ok everybody I want Scooby-Doo
shown here round the clock! All other Cartoons must go!”
9: “Ah! My new Coffee Boy…Gohan is
it? You’re going to go far in this business my boy! The business of getting my
coffee…so go get some chop, chop!”
8: “Ooo! I like my
new intern, I want to see you in my office Sailor Moon”
7: “No Yogi, you cannot have my sandwich! Touch it and you’re
Fired!”
6: “If Toonami isn’t about Scooby-Doo or Cartoon Cartoons, I don’t want to hear about it”
5: “Say that’s funny Tenchi, can I give that one to Johnny Bravo?”
4: “Ok Grandpa I promise, I’ll never cancel Betty Boop”
3: “Listen Goku, fire one of those
fireballs at the Nielsen Ratings people……THEN we’ll talk about Toonami”
2: “That Hercule guy, he’s gonna go far in this business! I want to see Hercule T-Shirts, Hercule action
figures, Hercule lunch boxes……what? Super Saiyan Goku?
What? Oh THAT guy…he can be Hercule’s dumb sidekick!”
And the #1 Thing You’re Most Likely To Hear At A Meeting With Jamie Kellner……
1: “Anime? What the hell is that!?”
10: Kakarot you’re my best
friend
9: Look Ma, look what I can do!
8: Pwecious wittle
baby Trunks, come to daddy
7: Cowabunga Dudes!
6: I’m DEAD SEXY!!!
5: I love you Bulma!
4: Hercule you’re a really cool guy
3: Quiet! I’m trying to watch football!
2: Hey, the pizza’s here!
And the #1 Thing
That Sounds Cool When said by Vegeta………………
1: Oh no, Goku you take this one I’ve
been hogging all of the fighting today
10: Piccolo versus
the Jolly Green Giant
9: Goku and Chi-Chi fight it out on the Jerry Springer
Show
8: Android 18
versus Al Gore
7: Master Roshi versus Anna Nicole Smith
6: Vegeta versus Mike Tyson
5: Chow Sue takes
on all 151 Pokemon
4: Gohan tries to out Survive contestants on Survivor!
3: Krillin tracks down fugitives from
2: King Kai versus Seinfeild
And the #1 DragonBallZ
1: Gore versus
Bush…SUPER SAIYAN STYLE!!!
GokuFievel: Thank You and have a mysterious tomorrow!!! Keep on laughing!!!
Apologies: To anyone
offended by the jokes above be they political or
sexual. Anyway if it’s that bad then get out!
Copyright Stuff: THESE JOKES WERE
WRITTEN SOULY BY ME GOKUFIEVEL!!! So if you plan on stealing any of these
jokes………DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!!! If you wish to share some of these jokes
with others, feel free to! However, if you wish to steal these jokes for your
own DBZ or Sailor Moon site………I DON’T THINK SO!!! UNLESS………unless you CONTACT
ME FIRST and have my permission. So please contact me if you wish to do so or
if you want to comment on the jokes. Thank You –GokuFievel
Give me your OWN Top Tens that are related to the topics I’ve overviewed. For more rules see the bottom of the Joke Page. If they’re good and make me laugh, I’ll put them up. They cannot be COPIED Top Tens for legal reasons. Thank You and Good Luck!